you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
