Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
