We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
