Please, let me fuck your mom
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
