It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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