They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
