Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
