I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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