this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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