you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
