I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
