There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
