help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
