He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
