Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
