2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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