Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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