Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
