so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
