who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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