it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
