this boner is exhausting
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
