He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
worst night to have a conscience
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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