PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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