so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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