I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you win again, gameday.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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