Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
