i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
