i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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