I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
