wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
