How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
