The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
