I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So squirting runs in the family.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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