you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
