Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
