they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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