didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
