i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
