i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
