What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize