he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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