All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
