Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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