just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
