yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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