rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
