I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
