Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
