I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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