thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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