I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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