Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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