we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
