WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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