I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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