My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
