I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
