Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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