To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
