I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
