Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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