but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
