My nipple is on Facebook.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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