come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
