nut hugger
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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