I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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