Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize