It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
